update!

she sat under the sycamore tree, eyes dazed , deep in thought.
remembering the promise they made, to meet back at this tree after 2 years after he finished college. it had been 5.
she returned to the tree each day, in case he was late.

she constantly hoped that he would return to her someday.
constantly.
she thought of him.

A rustle of leaves. A person's echoing footsteps.

Her heart skipped a beat. could it really be? her efforts had really not been for nothing? was it him?

...

no one. her imagination, perhaps.
voice quivering, she sang " though you're still with me.. i've been alone all along.."

total and absolute crushing disappointment.

he was never coming back.
alot could happen in 3 years.
silently she hoped he was happy.
that was all she could ever ask for.
all she could ever want.

she hoped that if she could not bring him happiness
he could move on and find someone who could.
she would not selflessly keep him by her side

she stood up.
crushing her paper dreams.
and walked away.

hehs. emo me. x)

hehhs. just a random poem i composed while feeling emo.

No Regrets.

The irony.

Of a girl dying in an accident

just before she could profess her undying love

to the one of her desires.

Of the same girl

watching, teary-eyed,

as her one true love goes on with life.

marrying his beautiful wife.

having the life she never had

the one she'll never have

Is heaven truly heaven?

if all you can do

is sit back and watch others

live out the dream you never had

the one that got away

your last unfulfilled regret.

now you stand

at the crossroads

with a choice to make

between what your heart tells you to do and what is the easiest

they say that before you die

your life flashes infront of you

one last time

make it worthwhile

make no regrets.

disappointed and depressed, X set off doing her usual thing, feeling grumpier than usual. "stupid trashcans.what for make them grey?" she mumbled to herself, feeling as if anything irritated her today. she kept her eyes transfixed on the floor, in case she saw anything that irritated her more.
suddenly, someone who felt like the biggest moron in the world at that moment, bumped into her."OI. WATCH IT, LOSER." she glared at him murderously."i'm so sorry," he said and bowed his head apologetically.
she felt a pang of guilt. it wasnt his fault that she was grumpy. as he turned to walk away, she said" hey. sorry. i was not feeling too good."he turned to look at her and beamed a sweet, sweet smile.she felt herself smiling back but did not know what she was doing.
what was this?! her? smiling? the world was ending.
the rest of the day was more like a blur of emotions. her worries were gone. she could think of nothing but his ohsodiabetic smile. she was also cursing herself for not asking what his name was when she had the chance. she also knew that she was probably never going to see him again. once again. left with only a memory.

sinking once again into depression. she cursed the whole world for being so unfair as she sat in her makeshift bed. looking into the windows of the apartments across the streets.

chapter 2.. finally!?.. i dunno what you will think of this.. but. ENJOY!

It was surreal. She loved moon-gazing, ever since she could remember.
There was something about the peaceful tranquility - how everything seemed in place, as nature intended. Leaning against the wall, she silently soaked in the atmosphere - enjoying every moment, one of the few times she ever felt happy anyway.

Suddenly, as if the moon was calling out to her, a mysterious fog descended upon the rooftop and she felt her feet rising above the ground.She was too awe-struck for words. Afraid that any movement would awaken her from this beautiful dream.

Everything seemed to have taken on an ethereal glow.The burning sensation within her stirred, as though each day she wore a false facade of who she truly was, and her true self was hidden, bursting apart at the seams, breaking free.

At that moment, with a rip, huge (dare she say it) wings (!!) erupted from the joints at her shoulderblades.They beat gently, carrying her even higher.Fear should have set in at this point, and took control of her mind, cartoon-like if you will, with mini versions of her running frantically about screaming " what do we do!?!?!"

Instead, everything felt completely normal. As nature intended.Like it was meant to be, all along.It felt liberating, as she flew further away from the city.She was escaping from the fears and confusion of the past.

All too soon, the sun rose.
The delightful reverie was broken.
X was back at the make-shift shelter she called home. More than anything else, she felt bewilderment and perhaps crushing disappointment.

Was it just a dream?

finally! an update! oh its not chapter two!? then what is it??

well this is basically off-plot. because i was feeling angsty and whatever. i wrote this down a few days ago. and anyway, a random update is better than no update right? *sweatdrop* ^0^;

The sun's rays reflected over her tear-streaked face. She cuddled even closer into his embrace."What's wrong? You afraid? " he asked. She gazed intently into his eyes, savouring the moment, she was lost inside the grey abyss that was his eyes and never wanted to find her way out."Yes. Afraid of losing you.."
silence
No one was there. 'Twas a memory of long ago.
She watched the waves crash upon the shore, the ebb and flow of the tide.
A moment. It was all she asked for. Just one moment.
For everything to fall into place.For him to say "I love you" even if it was short-lived,
even if it were a lie and he never meant it.
Just for that moment. Everything would be worthwhile.
She never knew why he left. He only said "I'm sorry. We just can't go on like this." and left.
Leaving behind countless nights of tears in his wake.

Was it really better to have loved and lost?

than to have never have loved before?

Was it really better to have had a taste of heaven then have it mercilessly yanked away from you?

never to be found again?

or to have never known the true beauty of heaven?

Was it really better to spend the rest of your life reminiscing on what was. might have been. but never will be?

Lost in her thoughts. She closed her eyes, as tears ushered her into slumber once again.

Fourteen-year old X wandered the dark alleyways aimlessly. As she always did. Alone. With only her shadow for company. She had learnt that it was better to stay away from the lights and sounds. In the light, they point and stare. They jeer and taunt. “Like you’re some kind of animal…” she grumbled. In the dark, in the silence , where no one calls you a freak. No one laughs at you or gives you dodgy glances. She had no idea why she was here, how she came here or why she was this way. She just knew that somehow, she used to be part of them, she used to dwell in the light. “ Maybe I don’t wanna be part of them..” she murmured to herself yet again. X’s thin scrawny frame moved up the ladder gracefully, she arrived on the rooftop of an old abandoned fire station.
An old mattress and a couple of torn rags. Sure it got chilly in the winter, but it was home.

She tugged at the overlarge football jersey. She saw that many admired those who wore such clothes. It did not seem to work on her. In fact, they seemed to stare harder.

She had nothing. Knew nothing. All she had was herself. And a brooding fear that the reason why she was here was because something terrible had happened in the past. She prayed each night that someone would come and take her away, to a place where she would never have to face the overwhelming loneliness anymore.

She sang softly to herself. A strange, sad song. Like one she remembered from a dream she had long ago.

Long ago
Far away
I held you in my arms
Safe from the storm
The day will come
When I take you back into my arms again

It was the only part she knew. She sang it to herself every night. It was the only clue she had to her past. She was determined to never forget it even if she never found a way out of the darkness.

On a balcony nearby, someone watched the strange girl curl up into a ball and fall asleep. Wondering to himself.